we have pet lesbian snakes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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