Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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