I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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