This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
