Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
