You just made me feel so damn special
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
