Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
