so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
