Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
