standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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