The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
