If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
