Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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