This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize