Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
