You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
