i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
