I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
