Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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