Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
