Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
