Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
