I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Randomize
