wakey wakey hands off snakey
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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