Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
