I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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