he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
