Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Someone came in the potted fern
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
