Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
