I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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