Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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