Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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