i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
