I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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