We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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