Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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