this beer tastes like vomit already
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
