I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
