I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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