My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
barbara walters just said penis...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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