So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
