Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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