Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
