I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
