Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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