remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
