well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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