But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
