dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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