so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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