I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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