weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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