omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
