i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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