one two three fourrrrnication!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
