I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
