And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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