Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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