I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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